Dawn of a Universal Humanity

March 20, 2014Leave a comment

I am moving out from darkness into the light. I feel a new kind of energy quickening. The dormant seeds of possibility are waking inside. The unconscious is moving into consciousness with new impulses, ideas, and opportunities. Its time to let go of my safe, resting retreat, the quiet milieu of nature’s darkness, to venture out into my luminous potential.

The impulse of creation is moving. A lively, spirited instinct encourages me to move, push, go forward, and expand outward. Yet, the familiar perennial signal feels different somehow.

It is different.

The darkness is fading. I push through the dense frozen ground of sleepiness, through to the light of this spring where the awakened world of enlightenment waits to greet me. As I let go of my personal, protected resting place and re-enter community, it feels changed. There’s no separation. The collective field is supportive, loving, and nurturing in a way that inspires greater connectivity. The essence of spring is consumed with the emergence of co-creative genius – aligned with Source, in harmony with nature, resonant and engaged with others. It delights my soul.

With the next push, there’s a familiar recognition. I remember. We are giving birth to Global Consciousness. This is it! We have welcomed the Essential Self into life and relationship, overcoming egoic obstacles with robust persistence. The dawn of a Universal Humanity is here. I can feel it. Now, as I listen to those seeds of possibility, I hear only the harmonic resonance of the collective good. I am only content, when the whole is whole again. I let go of “me” and surrender into the joy of connection, remembering who I am in the wholeness of who we are. And, I push. There’s no more time or space for my dormant slumber.

The sun crosses the celestial equator as I embody this balance and welcome the light. The life force rises with overwhelming intensity. I celebrate, with gratitude, for the equinox ushers in a fresh, unified state of being, as hopeful as the first tulip bloom after a long frigid winter. I emerge and stretch upward to meet nature’s genius. The warm light bathes my curiosity. She signals. It is time. I break into song and bloom with the new dawn.

His Last Breath

February 17, 2014Leave a comment

Before my first child was born, I keenly remember the moment when I desperately felt like giving up. Not managing my pain well, I wanted the unbearable process to stop. I literally wanted to quit, pack up and go home. However, it was a blessed event that was irreversible and forever life-changing. There was no stopping the process once it had started. The only way out was through.

Contractions in my lower back, coupled with my first-time-mom fear-of-the-unknown, made it nearly impossible to relax and surrender into childbirth. After pushing for over two hours, the doctor finally asserted he was stepping in to use forceps and assist in the delivery.

A few minutes later, our son was delivered and took his first breath.

Sitting by my father’s bed, I witnessed his laboring. Cycles of shallow breathing, weakened pulse, and peaceful pauses, were interrupted with what felt like excruciating labor pains. Wincing and moaning, he journeyed through an endless rhythm of contractions as he prepared to leave his body. At the moment we thought he was delivered into the peaceful embrace of death, another wave of un-surrendered life had him laboring for enough breath to get him through the next contraction.

Flashes of that moment – giving birth so long ago – grabbed my attention. I saw my father in an arduous dance within the portal of death, managing his own labor and delivery. I recognized myself sharing his fatigue and resistance. He had labored for hours. Fear of the unknown lingered in the room. With compassion, I wanted the process to stop. In my discomfort, I prayed for a quick and easy delivery. I observed myself in my own self-induced-suffering, not wanting him to suffer. But I knew this was another one of those blessed events that was irreversible and forever life changing. He had to go through it. I could choose to experience his death in a limited state of separation, resistance and pain; or I could shift my reality and open to the expansive, sacred knowing of this BLESSED MOMENT.

I paused, took a deep breath, and tuned-in to the resonant love in the room. I called on my higher self and quickly discovered a cosmic harmony within the life cycle of birth and death. My Essential Self witnessed this eloquent process and myself within it. The mystical doors of the Universe opened, as I experienced the tremendous grace and deep meaning in the Holy process. Instead of fear, pain and suffering, I found peace. I was handed a precious gift and consciously chose to claim and receive it. I stepped through my own portal of embodied consciousness and became fully present. Surrendering, I relaxed into the process and became one with it.

Death was my father’s journey. We all wanted to be there for him to support and comfort him. We desired a peaceful resolution. However, this was his delivery and only he could labor through the process and move through the transcendent birth/death canal. This was work of the soul. He, alone, had to go through this narrow portal to deliver himself.

The Hospice nurse, Lisa, in her palliative wisdom, intuited the same thing. She kindly invited us to step away and rest in another room for a while, allowing my dad to fully expand into his sacred work. We were all there with loving intentions to support him in the process. Yet, our roles as wife and daughter perhaps kept him in a place of resistance and emotional interference, keeping him in his earthly role as husband and father. It was time for him to release himself and give birth to the celestial role of his greater essence.

Her gentle suggestion was the perfect healing balm. The short time of physical separation, assisted in his ability to relax and surrender. Having us step away allowed a Heavenly Mid-wife, with divine forceps, to step in and assist. He let go, moved through the portal, and finally found peace.

A few minutes later, my dad was delivered and took his last breath.

Love Whispers from My Dad

February 14, 2014Leave a comment

On this Valentine’s Day, I sit beside my father’s hospital bed at 3:30 a.m. He sleeps restlessly through the pain in an incoherent state of tolerance. I put my hand on his hand, and without missing a beat, in his sleep, he whispers, “I love Yaaahz.” He softly winces and moans then becomes quiet again.

In the middle of the family room, he is bundled under layers and layers of blankets, hand-stitched quilts, and crocheted throws, with his left foot hanging out of the covers on purpose. I’m sitting on a folding chair next to his bed with my own layers of pajamas, a sweater, and a vest. We are both warm and uncomfortably cozy, under the circumstances. Through his irregular breathing, wincing and moaning, whether asleep or lucid, he continues to whisper messages of love: “I love you, oh how I love you.” Moans of pain, his cough, and the sweet sound of his love-whispers become a new kind of clock, marking time as it passes in the middle of the night.

He wakes himself up with a loud, grimacing noise. I put my hand on his shoulder and he quiets down. Gently, the sound of the Home Oxygen Concentrator and a loving presence, rocks him back to his shallow rest, but not before he sends out more love, “Ahhh… I loves ya, Jules.”

“I love you too, Dad.” I quietly reply.

In the darkness, with the dim light of my computer, I reflect on what a beautiful Valentine this is. I am soaking in the bittersweet, merciful love of his last days. I am communing in the grace-filled resonance as he creates discordant music with his breath. This love is infinitely real and deep, delivered in a delirious container of pain. The benevolent moment is so precious.

A whimper, then a loud groan brings me back into the moment. It’s time to roll over. We work together to find a comfortable position on his left side, prop pillows in the perfect places, and rearrange the covers. “How’s that, dad?”

“Oh, its good… its good until its not,” he says and quietly drifts back into the feverish abyss of his restless reality. The whispers, moans, and cough continue into the early morning hours. And time passes…

He wakes again with an unpleasant howl, “OH-Oooohhh-OH!” then quietly, “I love you, honey.”

“I love you too, Dad. Can I get you something for the pain?” I ask.

“Oh, no… I’m okay. It hurts more everywhere than anywhere.” He answers in his kind way, then turns to me, “Why don’t you go lay down in the recliner and try to get some sleep?”

I reply, “I’m okay, Dad. I’m sitting here writing love letters on my computer.”

“Ah… that’s good! Real, real good,” He replies with enthusiasm, “I LOVE YOU!”

“I know, Dad. I love you too.” I whisper in gratitude. And time passes…

I Leap Without Leaping

December 12, 2012Leave a comment

wandering along this broken path

urgency pushes and torments

my thoughts are clouded

emotions emerge and churn

this pioneer, searching

with each long, overcrowded step

lost becomes my imaginal soul

unsure of which direction to go

darkness haunts all that’s left

as glimpses of light allure my gaze

like my once safe environment

I am breaking down consciously

the path becomes ruin

as i find the edge of a cliff

the crumbling pieces forever falling

into perfect disorderly order

with no remains of the path ahead

I can fall into the abyss

or leap through the crisis

into the birth of a certain unknowing

chaos and crowding keep

moving me closer to the edge

there are so many here

yet I stand alone

with one evolutionary breath

I surrender in complete silence

contractions pushing

the portal beckoning

I leap without leaping

into the cosmic dance

and expand into the oneness

of Universal Divine Humanity

The New Beauty

October 9, 2012Leave a comment

“Jules, If I didn’t know you, I would hate you.”

This message was delivered to me almost 30 years ago, at a critical and tender time in my life. It reverberated endlessly, from my fragile ego, to the depths of my soul, and back around my heart. This was a painful and difficult message for an approval-seeking young adult, who worked tirelessly to move beyond the ugly and imperfect obstacles from childhood adversities. I replied, “Seriously? You would HATE me?”

“Yes. You are beautiful and successful. You’re perfect! You have it all. If I didn’t know you, I would hate you!”

Sadly, she really did not know me and all my insecurities. Her words pierced my people-pleasing persona and shattered everything I believed to be true. Beauty and success epitomized the cultural contract we were conditioned to fulfill as super-women. But nobody told me about the part that if, or when, you fulfill the contract, people would hate you. This was a bewildering, sick game: be beautiful, successful and hated, or imperfect, ordinary and never measure up. The pathetic irony in the entire paradigm was I NEVER felt beautiful or successful to begin with — most of us NEVER did.

In spite of the invasive and prominent media-defined images of beauty, women are waking up. No longer will we sit by and watch our daughters be put in anorexic, fashion chic boxes, destined for plastic surgery. Traditional notions of beauty are being shattered. Women no longer want to have our appearance prescribed, nor do we believe it defines who we are. We will not wear a mask that hides our identity and buy the right labels to make us feel worthy and complete. We are re-defining beauty and wearing it proudly as it emanates deep from within our true knowing. As we discover the radiant light of elegance and grace that flows from our core, authentic self-expression is the new glamour. Beauty isn’t something that pleases the eye, but rather an essence that stirs and quickens the soul. Have you re-defined beauty and embraced your mystique?

Macduff Everton said, “There is a difference between pretty and beautiful. Beauty can astonish us. Inspire us. Make us dance. Make us weep. Beauty can be magical. Beauty can transform us. Beauty lets our soul sing. Beauty can have such depth that you don’t even notice at first, or ever.” Live your beauty! Let it shine. Allow you essence to emerge. BE YOU, beautiful!

I am the One

July 20, 2012Leave a comment

I am the one who tends and cares for the soul.

I am the one who brings spirit to life.

I am the expression of Creation, creating Herself.

I am the art of All-Knowing; the dance of Divine;

Sweet music in the moment; and poetry of presence.

I am the one who brings life and voice to our universal knowing,

Remembering and igniting our brilliance, our beauty, our being.

I am the one expressing the One.

I am the One expanding the one.

I am the one emerging from the One into the greater one.

Embodying the voice as my own, I lose myself —

and I’m made whole; one; C O M P L E T E.

Living Expression of Namaste

April 29, 2012Leave a comment

I met a Sudanese refugee this week that immigrated to the United States for work. He is an amazing man. I’ll call him “Steven.” Among the many humbling and gracious words he spoke, what shined most is his deep faith in God and enduring love for ALL people. He said he “vehemently” believes in doing things that “bring greatness” to the lives of others as well as himself. Steven is thankful to God for granting him many gifts and abilities, especially using them for “doing right things for others.” This brave and radiant young man gets up every morning with a smile on his face, knowing that God is always with him.

Three powerful themes emerged from my conversation with this migratory, luminous messenger. From his own words, first, we are not restricted by anybody or anything except our own choices. Second, a loving gracious God exists and “resides in us, with us, beside us, around us, and among us,” no matter what our race, religion, culture, gender, or life circumstances. And third, serving the one human body of God and individuals in our local communities can bring abundant JOY!

After meeting this delightful new acquaintance, I headed to our lake house, which is a few miles from a community that has a significant new population of Sudanese and Hispanic immigrants. I stopped at the local big box “Super Store” for a few grocery items. When I arrived, I felt different. As I looked around, I saw “Steven” everywhere. I walked up and down the aisles and couldn’t get the smile off my face. I was beaming with the grace-filled lessons of Steven’s love and joy. My heart was expanded and with each and every immigrant I saw, it grew even more with love, compassion, and joy. And then, something amazing happened.

As I was gathering my items and looking around, a young Sudanese child made eye contact with me, smiled, and waved. With surprise, my heart leaped out of my chest and I felt the presence of our shared divinity and joy. It felt like a deeply sacred moment. There were no words between us, just a profound, yet brief surreal connection. We needed no words. We saw each other. I walked off dazed and intoxicated with the lessons of Steven stirring in my heart.

A few minutes later, in the next aisle over a family passed by. Not paying much attention, I was looking at my list when a young Hispanic girl pulled her hand away from her mom, and shouted loudly to get my attention, “Hi!”. I made eye contact with her, returned a smile, and said, “Hi!”

Seriously? Again? It was as if both kids were reaching out to me to share a soul moment. I was filled with gratitude. There was a familiar knowing among us. Our brief eye contact felt like an eternity of deeper seeing and recognition. I began to feel a universal oneness with everyone in the super store. I looked around with gentle compassion and curiosity. What was happening?

When life couldn’t get much sweeter, a third young Caucasian child laying on her daddy’s shoulder, lifted her head just a few feet from mine, grinned from ear to ear, and with the light of recognition in her eyes, greeted me with an adorable and engaging, “Hi!” I was enchanted as I stood soaking in the mystery of this unbelievable experience.

I thank Steven. His palpable love, joy, and heart for service, created a beautiful resonant field that ignited something in me. I believe the same gracious God, and divine spark, which resides within Steven, resides within me, and within all people, including the three children I met at the super store. Maybe, the three children simply recognized it sooner than I did, and reached out in remembrance to reconnect in a beautiful living experience of Namaste.

Namaste.

[The definition of Namaste (pronounced na, ma, stay) is both a physical gesture and a spoken spiritual salutation, which is the recognition of the divine spirit (or soul) in another by the divine spirit in you. The word Namaste translates simply to “I bow to the divine in you.”]

(Image found with SCiAF, Scotland’s Aid Agency sciaf.org.uk)

Finding the Source

January 22, 2012Leave a comment

The water was disappearing more and more all the time. Our sacred backyard sanctuary had a leak. The pond needed to be filled every couple of days.

We put the pond in ourselves in 2004. We really didn’t know what we were doing. We researched for years and decided to go ahead with our limited knowledge and experience. We ordered a kit, rented a backhoe, and followed the instructions. It turned out beautifully and we enjoy it immensely. The Koi and gold fish are maturing and the water plants need little care. But that “limited knowledge and experience” piece does come back to haunt us.

There are two important steps the instructions did not cover adequately. First, how important sealing the main seam is! Second, they never mentioned that the liner needed to be fitted inside the waterfall spill-over. We paid careful and diligent attention to the main seam when we sealed it. I believe it is a waterproof seam serving us well. But the other issue with the waterfall spill-over has caused us grief.

We knew we had small amounts of water leaking around the waterfall, but feared a much bigger problem. It seemed like a daunting task to tackle the leak. Surely it would require de-construction and re-construction.

One Saturday I was working in the gardens – weeding, moving plants, and playing with the stone around the pond – when I noticed moving water where it wasn’t supposed to be. Outside of the waterfall and creek a small trickle of water was discovered. I began moving rock, pulling mint plants, and clearing out roots of a reed that sucks water from the pond. Slowly but surely I made my way up to the source of the leak. There, before my eyes, water was emerging from a place I never imagined.

I vacillated between joy and hesitation. Would this be a simple fix or a major de-construction project? And then, two simple solutions quietly emerged. First, we could carefully work with the liner and simply re-route the water back to the pond. Or second, we could fill the hole with concrete; creating a dam or plug, and hopefully the source of the leak would re-route itself down the waterfall. If you know the temperament of moving water, the second option could be risky and wasn’t likely a viable solution. So, I began working with the liner to catch and re-route the leak.

I expected the worst. Fixing the leak seemed like such a big project. But I was delightfully surprised to find a gentle little stream of water where it wasn’t supposed to be. For now, the liner has been manipulated to re-route the water and it seems to be a manageable solution.

There are times in my life when I experience energy leaks. Finding the source means two things to me. First, it is important for me to understand where my leak originates. Where and why am I loosing energy? Finding that source helps me address the issues and move back into wholeness. Second, finding my Source, my center, the spiritual essence of who I really am, is a powerful daily practice. This Source is an abundant stream of powerful energy that fuels my life. This infinite Source of love and light can heal any leak, wound, block, or congestion, and move me into right relationship with myself and the world around me. Having an intimate and infinite relationship with my Beloved Source illuminates dark shadows, ignorance, and self-doubt. This constant companion is so life-affirming!

So, when something is out of balance and I’m feeling low, all I need to do is be still, go within, and find that Source… She leads me beside the still waters. She restores my soul!

My Two Birthdays

December 15, 2011Leave a comment

“Fly free and happy beyond birthdays and across forever, and we’ll meet now and then when we wish, in the midst of the one celebration that never can end.” ~ Richard Bach

I have two birthdays. No, I wasn’t born at midnight. I was born on my sisters first birthday, so I thought — December 16, 1962. Every year I would share my birthday, birthday cake, and birthday presents with my sister. And for the first fifteen years of my life, that was my day — well, our day. Then on December 15th when I turned 15, my dad called to wish me “Happy Birthday.” He told me that my birthday was really the 15th and my mom wanted it on the 16th because it was “cute.” Hmmm… I asked my mom and she continued to profess the 16th. And, so began the two-birthday conundrum.

In my early twenties, I needed a passport so I got my birth certificate. It said, “December 16, 1962.” So there — it was settled. I was born on December 16th. For the next several years I celebrated the 16th and my dad continued to call me on the 15th. Then one day in my early 30’s, my mom gave me the hospital certificate where they put your foot prints in ink. It was typed December 16, 1962, but the nurse signed it in green ink, December 15, 1962. At this point, I was really confused. I asked my mother again and she continued to profess the 16th.

Years went by and the two-birthday dance continued, until one day my mother called on December 15th. She wanted to bring over a birthday gift. I told her it wasn’t my birthday yet. She agreed on the phone and brought the gift to my house. She sat down and quickly said, “Okay, it’s time that I tell the truth. You really were born on the 15th, but the hospital messed up and put the 16th on your birth certificate, so we just kept it that way.”

So… yeah. Two birthdays. One is my REAL BIRTH day, and the other is my LEGAL birthday. It’s been the 16th on every legal document since I was born. But the story doesn’t end there…

Several years later, my youngest sister called me and asked what my birth certificate said. When I told her, she said, “You aren’t going to believe this!” She got a copy of HER birth certificate and it had the wrong day! She has celebrated January 9th all of her life and her birth certificate said January 8th! True story.

So, what are the lessons to be found? Well, after years of having everyone “forget” a too-close-to-Christmas birthday, getting combined birthday/Christmas gifts at Christmas, sharing the day with my sister, and years of disillusion and confusion about the date, I decided to claim both days and CELEBRATE LIFE! I discovered that I could feel bad about my “lack” of birthday, or I could feel joy and great abundance by making the best out of a goofy situation! I choose to celebrate life and all the bountiful blessings in the chaos. And, I choose to celebrate me and birth a new sense of self-love. Every year since I found out the truth, I have my own little private birthday celebration that lasts for 48 hours! I gave birth to a new sense of self and learned how to love, honor, and cherish me (and all my imperfections) more completely.

All We Need is Love

December 9, 2011Leave a comment

“All we need is love,” instructs John Lennon’s famous lyrics. The sentiment is incredibly moving today as we enter this holiday season as well as this pivotal time in history. Love is a unifying force that can improve the quality of life on earth, ignite planetary healing, and create global oneness.

There are many definitions of love, but let’s discuss the universal, altruistic love that is shared by most faith-based organizations. Love is central to many religions, as in the phrase, “God is Love.” Love is the ultimate grace and blessing where most do see eye to eye. This love is a divine link that can bind us together and the redeeming force that can reconcile the hearts of humanity.

In the Bahá’í faith, love is the light that guides in the darkness, the living link that unites God with man, that force that assures the progress of every illumined soul. Bahá’í’s believe love reveals, with unfailing and limitless power, the mysteries latent in the universe.

The Dalai Lama said, “Love, compassion and tolerance are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” In Buddhism, love is unconditional and requires considerable self-acceptance. They believe this is quite different from “ordinary” love, which is usually about attachment and rarely occurs without self-interest. Instead, it refers to detachment and unselfish interest in the welfare of others.

In the Jewish tradition followers are encouraged to show mercy, love, and compassion to their brother and, as the Torah commands, love God “with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might.” In the Christian faith, there are numerous references from “love your enemies” to the greatest commandment: love one another. It is said, “God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.”

Sufism explains the essence of God as love and the Sufi path is a path of love. Love is to see what is good and beautiful in everything. The aim is to be accepted as a lover by the Beloved God. Love encompasses the Islamic view of life as universal brotherhood that applies to all who hold faith.

Love is an inter-faith, universal virtue. This magnificent and beautiful imperative is swelling and pulsing within the hearts of humanity. There is a collective awakening stirring within us and contributing to a global shift in consciousness. The conclusion? We are ONE. Therefore, love ONE another.

Be a part of the global shift. From, and through, the love of your divine source, start with yourself. This love is a critical key to healing the planet. Self-acceptance and unconditional love for oneself is foundational. You cannot love God or others completely without loving yourself first. It doesn’t work that way. In loving yourself completely, you will activate a healing resonance greater than yourself and prepare the way for all other love.

Rumi wrote, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Love yourself and you open the floodgates for universal, altruistic love to permeate every cell of your being and every corner of the universe. You pave the way to “Love your enemies.”

There’s a visceral yearning inside each of us to love. Take a few minutes everyday and focus on universal love with the intention of increasing your energetic field of love. Breathe into your heart and allow it to expand… open… and guide you. Direct your attention to your heart and rest in the awareness of universal LOVE.

Next, imagine sending love to your loved ones, neighbors, community, and expand this field of love to all beings on our planet. Include all races, religions, and those different from you. And, yes, include any “enemies” you may have. This powerful intention will assist you to embody universal love. And, there’s another benefit to this practice: all sacred wisdom and guidance comes from this place! You are building your soul’s navigation system.

“All we need is love!” Today is a great day to allow your heart to embrace this world with all its amazing beauty, diversity, and need. We are called to deeply love those who are different from ourselves. It’s time to break down the walls that divide us, love one another, and BE in the heart of God. Kahlil Gibran, writes, “When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.” Come join in the co-creative path of love… I’ll meet you in the heart of God where we will unite and ignite loving peace on earth!