Green Between Hearts

May 12, 2015Leave a comment

Green Between Hearts ~ Three Lessons on Connecting with Others

My husband and I recently enjoyed a company trip to a beautiful Cancun resort. Upon arriving, we received bright green wristbands in our welcome packet. We were told to wear the wristbands at all times, especially to meals and group events to help identify ourselves as part of the group.

Early the next morning we went down for breakfast. As we proceeded down the long corridor to our ocean-side breakfast destination, I noticed a peculiar trend. People wearing green wristbands were smiling and greeting each other with a friendly recognition and, “Good Morning!” When there was no wristband, there was no greeting. The bearers of the band would literally walk by naked wrists, turn their heads the opposite direction and not even make eye contact. I watched throughout the day as complete strangers began conversation initiated by a green-wristband-association, while others wandered around in silence and avoidance. In the busy, populated beachfront resort, community was born with a color – a rubber bracelet – labeling and defining our connection. We were a group – a community. The public tag of “association” turned previous strangers into friends. Our trademark gave us an assurance that we had something in common and invited us to strike up a conversation. Courage from the rubber bracelet gave us a power to connect, share, converse, and exchange contact information.

Sadly, complete strangers riding the elevator, or lounging at the pool, would not be spoken to when there wasn’t the signal or invitation provided by the green wristband marking our newly formed conglomerate of familiarity. I watched as those with green bands initiated conversations in elevators but excluded those with no wristbands. The bearers of this green assembly walked past those without wristbands in the name of networking, community, and common purpose. The emerald bangle created an instant classification system garnering safety, comfort, recognition and community for those with the opportunity to adorn the trinket. But those without weren’t included. The friendly green-banded posse was an exclusive club.

The green wristbands inspired my own campaign. I decided that I would initiate conversation with those around me – green band or mostly not. The children made it easy. Talking to, smiling at, and playing with toddlers splashing at the pool was sure to lead to a new found friendship with their parents. We exchanged words, laughter, recommendations, ideas, and beautiful companionship. We talked about our lives – our homes, family, vocation, and the joys of our day. In every moment, regardless of location, skin color, nationality, language or green wristband, I made connections: the family from Mexico City on vacation with their friends and small children, the family from Brooklyn – where the relocated wife from Vietnam was missing her family back home, the family from Atlanta who shared their immigration story from Nigeria and exchanged entrepreneurial inspiration. For someone uncomfortable initiating small talk, I easily made some meaningful connections.

What were the lessons? What is the invitation? Connect with others!

Lesson 1: People want to connect. We crave connection and relationship. We want and need to belong. We are an interconnected, interdependent species that thrives in community. We tend to look for safe and familiar ways to create that connection. However, for many, that is not easy. Without the traditional markers of community association, we shy away from talking to strangers. In our fast-paced, high-tech digital world, high touch is a powerful prescription. Slow down, bring yourself into the present moment, and give it a try. Connect with those around you – in person. They likely long for personal connection as much as you do.

Lesson 2: You can always find something in common. You may look at others as strangers or simply people you just don’t know personally yet. Finding commonality is as simple as saying, “Hello.” To begin, just be who you are: reach out, shine your light, and smile. Make eye contact and speak with a simple greeting. Better yet, share an authentic expression of your experience. Look beneath the surface of things and connect with your essence. You are sure to find something you have in common. Maybe you overhear them using a beautiful name that you have an affinity for. Maybe you appreciate their conscious, gentle parenting style. Maybe you make eye contact by playing peek-a-boo with a toddler. Maybe you offer assistance, your service in opening a door, helping a stranger in need, or gifting something unique to the moment. It is likely that because you are in the same place at the same time, you will find something in common to build an association around, even if only temporary and transient in nature. And don’t stop with strangers. This is a great practice with your not-so-familiar friends and neighbors, the checker at your local grocery store, the waiter at your favorite restaurant, and the co-traveler on public transportation. Put down your excuses and artificial barriers and engage.

Lesson 3: Connection contributes to health, longevity, and a meaningful quality of life. Reaching outside of your comfort zone and entering the space of others, builds your psycho-social-spiritual muscles. It’s a practice that develops confidence, courage, compassion, and most importantly, unity. Finding the common humanity behind our differences is good for our individual and collective soul. Begin connecting with others as a routine spiritual practice. Your world will blossom with possibility, potential and greater well-being. The energy of creating new connections will attract more and life will begin flowing with ease and grace. Try it. Research shows that quality relationships and being in community increase your overall health, happiness, productivity, longevity and well-being. Its a win-win.

When I returned home from Cancun, I had a dream I started a green wristband campaign where I purchased thousands of wristbands and began giving them away to anyone who expressed an interest. I called it “Green Between Hearts.” Everyone organically began talking, making heart connections, sharing and building community. It was a beautiful dream. I’m holding that vision. Will you hold it with me? Let me know if you want a wristband, or two, or a hundred of them. I’ll get to work on it right away (smile).

A World of Love,

Julie

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Finding the Source

January 22, 2012Leave a comment

The water was disappearing more and more all the time. Our sacred backyard sanctuary had a leak. The pond needed to be filled every couple of days.

We put the pond in ourselves in 2004. We really didn’t know what we were doing. We researched for years and decided to go ahead with our limited knowledge and experience. We ordered a kit, rented a backhoe, and followed the instructions. It turned out beautifully and we enjoy it immensely. The Koi and gold fish are maturing and the water plants need little care. But that “limited knowledge and experience” piece does come back to haunt us.

There are two important steps the instructions did not cover adequately. First, how important sealing the main seam is! Second, they never mentioned that the liner needed to be fitted inside the waterfall spill-over. We paid careful and diligent attention to the main seam when we sealed it. I believe it is a waterproof seam serving us well. But the other issue with the waterfall spill-over has caused us grief.

We knew we had small amounts of water leaking around the waterfall, but feared a much bigger problem. It seemed like a daunting task to tackle the leak. Surely it would require de-construction and re-construction.

One Saturday I was working in the gardens – weeding, moving plants, and playing with the stone around the pond – when I noticed moving water where it wasn’t supposed to be. Outside of the waterfall and creek a small trickle of water was discovered. I began moving rock, pulling mint plants, and clearing out roots of a reed that sucks water from the pond. Slowly but surely I made my way up to the source of the leak. There, before my eyes, water was emerging from a place I never imagined.

I vacillated between joy and hesitation. Would this be a simple fix or a major de-construction project? And then, two simple solutions quietly emerged. First, we could carefully work with the liner and simply re-route the water back to the pond. Or second, we could fill the hole with concrete; creating a dam or plug, and hopefully the source of the leak would re-route itself down the waterfall. If you know the temperament of moving water, the second option could be risky and wasn’t likely a viable solution. So, I began working with the liner to catch and re-route the leak.

I expected the worst. Fixing the leak seemed like such a big project. But I was delightfully surprised to find a gentle little stream of water where it wasn’t supposed to be. For now, the liner has been manipulated to re-route the water and it seems to be a manageable solution.

There are times in my life when I experience energy leaks. Finding the source means two things to me. First, it is important for me to understand where my leak originates. Where and why am I loosing energy? Finding that source helps me address the issues and move back into wholeness. Second, finding my Source, my center, the spiritual essence of who I really am, is a powerful daily practice. This Source is an abundant stream of powerful energy that fuels my life. This infinite Source of love and light can heal any leak, wound, block, or congestion, and move me into right relationship with myself and the world around me. Having an intimate and infinite relationship with my Beloved Source illuminates dark shadows, ignorance, and self-doubt. This constant companion is so life-affirming!

So, when something is out of balance and I’m feeling low, all I need to do is be still, go within, and find that Source… She leads me beside the still waters. She restores my soul!