The New Beauty

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“Jules, If I didn’t know you, I would hate you.”

This message was delivered to me almost 30 years ago, at a critical and tender time in my life.  It reverberated endlessly, from my fragile ego, to the depths of my soul, and back around my heart.  This was a painful and difficult message for an approval-seeking young adult, who worked tirelessly to move beyond the ugly and imperfect obstacles from childhood adversities.  I replied, “Seriously?  You would HATE me?”

“Yes.  You are beautiful and successful.  You’re perfect!  You have it all.  If I didn’t know you, I would hate you!”

Sadly, she really did not know me and all my insecurities.  Her words pierced my people-pleasing persona and shattered everything I believed to be true.  Beauty and success epitomized the cultural contract we were conditioned to fulfill as super-women.  But nobody told me about the part that if, or when, you fulfill the contract, people would hate you.  This was a bewildering, sick game: be beautiful, successful and hated, or imperfect, ordinary and never measure up.  The pathetic irony in the entire paradigm was I NEVER felt beautiful or successful to begin with — most of us NEVER did.

In spite of the invasive and prominent media-defined images of beauty, women are waking up.  No longer will we sit by and watch our daughters be put in anorexic, fashion chic boxes, destined for plastic surgery.  Traditional notions of beauty are being shattered.  Women no longer want to have our appearance prescribed, nor do we believe it defines who we are.  We will not wear a mask that hides our identity and buy the right labels to make us feel worthy and complete.  We are re-defining beauty and wearing it proudly as it emanates deep from within our true knowing.  As we discover the radiant light of elegance and grace that flows from our core, authentic self-expression is the new glamour.  Beauty isn’t something that pleases the eye, but rather an essence that stirs and quickens the soul.  Have you re-defined beauty and embraced your mystique?

Macduff Everton said, “There is a difference between pretty and beautiful.  Beauty can astonish us. Inspire us.  Make us dance.  Make us weep.  Beauty can be magical.  Beauty can transform us.  Beauty lets our soul sing.  Beauty can have such depth that you don’t even notice at first, or ever.”  Live your beauty!  Let it shine.  Allow you essence to emerge.  BE YOU, beautiful!

Living Expression of Namaste

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I met a Sudanese refugee this week that immigrated to the United States for work.  He is an amazing man.  I’ll call him “Steven.”  Among the many humbling and gracious words he spoke, what shined most is his deep faith in God and enduring love for ALL people.  He said he “vehemently” believes in doing things that “bring greatness” to the lives of others as well as himself.  Steven is thankful to God for granting him many gifts and abilities, especially using them for “doing right things for others.”  This brave and radiant young man gets up every morning with a smile on his face, knowing that God is always with him.

Three powerful themes emerged from my conversation with this migratory, luminous messenger.  From his own words, first, we are not restricted by anybody or anything except our own choices.  Second, a loving gracious God exists and “resides in us, with us, beside us, around us, and among us,” no matter what our race, religion, culture, gender, or life circumstances.  And third, serving the one human body of God and individuals in our local communities can bring abundant JOY!

After meeting this delightful new acquaintance, I headed to our lake house, which is a few miles from a community that has a significant new population of Sudanese and Hispanic immigrants.  I stopped at the local big box “Super Store” for a few grocery items.  When I arrived, I felt different.  As I looked around, I saw “Steven” everywhere.  I walked up and down the aisles and couldn’t get the smile off my face.  I was beaming with the grace-filled lessons of Steven’s love and joy.  My heart was expanded and with each and every immigrant I saw, it grew even more with love, compassion, and joy.   And then, something amazing happened.

As I was gathering my items and looking around, a young Sudanese child made eye contact with me, smiled, and waved.  With surprise, my heart leaped out of my chest and I felt the presence of our shared divinity and joy.  It felt like a deeply sacred moment.  There were no words between us, just a profound, yet brief surreal connection.  We needed no words.  We saw each other.  I walked off dazed and intoxicated with the lessons of Steven stirring in my heart.

A few minutes later, in the next aisle over a family passed by.  Not paying much attention, I was looking at my list when a young Hispanic girl pulled her hand away from her mom, and shouted loudly to get my attention, “Hi!”.  I made eye contact with her, returned a smile, and said, “Hi!”

Seriously?  Again?  It was as if both kids were reaching out to me to share a soul moment.  I was filled with gratitude.  There was a familiar knowing among us.  Our brief eye contact felt like an eternity of deeper seeing and recognition.  I began to feel a universal oneness with everyone in the super store.  I looked around with gentle compassion and curiosity. What was happening?

When life couldn’t get much sweeter, a third young Caucasian child laying on her daddy’s shoulder, lifted her head just a few feet from mine, grinned from ear to ear, and with the light of recognition in her eyes, greeted me with an adorable and engaging, “Hi!” I was enchanted as I stood soaking in the mystery of this unbelievable experience.

I thank Steven.  His palpable love, joy, and heart for service, created a beautiful resonant field that ignited something in me.  I believe the same gracious God, and divine spark, which resides within Steven, resides within me, and within all people, including the three children I met at the super store.  Maybe, the three children simply recognized it sooner than I did, and reached out in remembrance to reconnect in a beautiful living experience of Namaste.

Namaste.

[The definition of Namaste (pronounced na, ma, stay) is both a physical gesture and a spoken spiritual salutation, which is the recognition of the divine spirit (or soul) in another by the divine spirit in you.  The word Namaste translates simply to “I bow to the divine in you.”]

(Image found with SCiAF, Scotland’s Aid Agency sciaf.org.uk)